i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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