census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
