so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
