3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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