Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize