well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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