I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
