That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
