Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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