Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
