then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
