Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
