I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
