lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
