watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
