Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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