she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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