Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
