I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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