she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
