hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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