As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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