dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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