I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
