Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
fuck your aforementioned shoe
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's get the cat blown out
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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