Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
there is glitter all over my balls
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
