Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
