just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
