Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
