How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
