I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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