When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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