6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
