I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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