i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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