what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
