South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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