why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
