I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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