She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
