I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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