how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
