sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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