I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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