ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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