Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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