what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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