no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
