Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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