Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
