It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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