better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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