oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
