And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
