She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
