so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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