Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
