You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
