With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
