This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
