Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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