I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
