I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
