According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
