an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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