How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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