imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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