can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize