Nicole vs. Life
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
