It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
